COVENANT VIRTUES
PRACTICE LOVE and GET RESULTS
Read Time: 4 mins
PRACTICE LOVE
Back in the early 2000’s, I served as the Ethics Officer for the Los Angeles Unified School District. The district had gone through a major scandal and was undergoing reform. I was relatively young and this was a senior position in a multi-billion-dollar agency, and my boss Hal gave me a great opportunity.
It was a fantastic experience. I learned a tremendous amount about law, government, politics, unions, and leadership from Hal—all good stuff. What made Hal a good leader, however, was that he cared about his people. We all worked harder for Hal because we knew he loved us.
Twenty years later, many of us are still friends with Hal.
How did I know that Hal cared about me? He showed it several ways.
Hal believed in me. In my area of responsibility, he gave me the authority to make district-wide decisions. He asked for my input on major issues within the broader legal office. He actively listened to what I said. When I was attacked, Hal backed me without hesitation—even when it cost him politically.
Hal treated me like a teammate, not a minion. Hal really focused on doing the right thing for kids and the district instead of what was politically expedient.
Finally, Hal took an active interest in my personal and career development. He challenged me to continuously improve my ideas, writing and work. He made sure that I learned important lessons about leadership, politics, and big organizations that I could use throughout my life.
I picked up a lot of knowledge from Hal, but more important, I learned the power of love for others. Love doesn’t just get better performance from people. It transforms both the person giving and the person receiving the love.
My junior high school wrestling coach, Jim, had a big impact on my life. The impact wasn’t that he taught me better wrestling moves. It was because Jim took the time to care. More than 40 years later, we’re still friends.
Think back to the people who made a big difference in your life. Did they make that difference by teaching you a better way to throw a ball or do a math equation? Or did they make a difference because they cared?
WHY ITS ‘PRACTICE LOVE’
Why is our Covenant Virtue practice love instead of practice care?
It is because love is the deepest kind of caring you can have for another. Love gets the most commitment. Love builds the strongest relationship bonds.
Love is much more than a feeling. Love is taking action to do what is best for another.
What is best for another is sometimes different than what they desire. When my daughters were young, they wanted ice cream for breakfast. Because I loved them, I gave them what was good for them rather what they desired.
The ancient Greeks recognized different types of love including philia and agape.
Philia is brotherly love. That’s why Philadelphia is known as the City of Brotherly Love. Philia is a mutual friendship where you care about the other person’s well-being—what is best for them.
Agape love is the deepest, self-sacrificing love. Agape is when you are willing to die for another.
Love doesn’t just benefit the person receiving the love. When you practice love, it transforms you. Remember that. The primary reason to love others isn’t because they will be grateful to you. Practice love because it makes you a better, more loving, person.
Remember, you become what you do. When you do something over and over, it becomes a habit and eventually part of your character. The same is true of love.
If you practice contract or power-based relationships, treating people as things to be used or manipulated, then you will become that person. If you practice it at work, you will carry it home to your spouse and children. When you treat people like things, you can’t develop the deeper relationships that lead to happiness and success. Family, friends, and work clients will learn to treat you like a thing. They will be around you so long as you are useful. When times get tough, they will abandon you.
On the other hand, if you work hard to ground all your relationships in philia and agape love, you will become a truly loving person. It will become part of your nature. You will bring it home to bless your spouse and children. Your family and friends will be with you through the toughest times because they love you.
At work, if your clients know that you love them and want what is best for them, you will have high-trust relationships. They will give you more business. If your people know that you love them and want what is best for them, they will be more inspired, engaged, and productive.
Practice love in everything that you do so that it becomes a fundamental part of who you are. It is key to developing the high trust, fulfilling relationships that bring happiness and success in life.
GET RESULTS
The more people know that you can get results, the more people will trust you, and the better your relationships.
People want to know that you can get the job done.
In a close basketball game, will you make the final shot?
In business, can you get the project completed on-time and on-budget?
In sales, can you close the deal?
Getting Results is your ability to tie everything together—your wisdom, talent, leadership, relationships, etc.—and get the job done. It requires the self-motivation to get the job started, the knowledge and processes to work the job, and the drive to fully complete the job.
Getting Results includes the ability to make good decisions while under pressure in fast-paced, ambiguous situations.
Of course, if you seek wisdom and practice love, you give yourself the best chance of having the knowledge, character, and relationships to get results.
Seek Wisdom, Practice Love and you’ll Get Results.
Our next section is about how to Get Started with Covenant Leadership.