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It’s simple. Happiness and success come from high-trust, covenant relationships. We know that from our previous blogs-podcasts.
So, what is the best way to develop good relationships?
Just do three things:
- Seek Wisdom
- Practice Love
- Get Results
The more people trust your wisdom, that you love them, and that you get things done, the stronger your relationships.
In this episode, we’re going to focus on wisdom and why its critical to your success.
SEEK WISDOM
Wisdom is the knowledge you need to be good at something—whether that is painting a house, raising a family or leading a business.
In the broadest sense, wisdom is the knowledge you need to live a good, successful and happy life.
Wisdom includes common sense, and the ability to make good judgments and carry out good actions.
Wisdom is much more than academic knowledge. Wisdom is the knowledge you get learning the truth about something combined with the knowledge you get through the experience of practicing those truths.
For example, think about driving a car. In your driver’s ed class, they gave you academic knowledge about driving. They taught you the truth that if you turn the wheel right, the car will go to the right. And the truth that pressing the brake will slow the car. And the truths about having the right-of-way.
But that academic knowledge itself doesn’t make you good at driving a car. You only get good at driving a car through the experience of practicing those truths while driving a car.
You know a truth: Press the brake to slow down. You only become good at braking by practicing that knowledge/truth over and over until you get good at judging when to brake and how hard to brake.
You practice the knowledge of braking until it becomes a habit. Part of your character. The more you practice, the more you learn about (the truth) of braking and the better you get.
That makes wisdom a self-reinforcing cycle. You know a truth. You practice that truth repeatedly until it becomes a habit ingrained in your character. The experience of practicing the truth repeatedly brings you a deeper knowledge—wisdom—that only comes through that experience. That newly learned wisdom becomes the baseline for your next cycle.
That is why wisdom only comes with experience.
It is why experience—whether its raising kids, coaching a team or starting a business—is so important for success.
It is why wisdom is the combination of your knowledge (of the truth) and your character (developed by the experience of repeatedly practicing that truth).
We can put it in an easy formula:
Wisdom = Knowledge + Character.
KNOWLEDGE
The knowledge component of wisdom is straightforward.
At work, do you know the truth—the facts—about your expertise? If you are in marketing, do you have professional marketing knowledge? If you are in surgeon, how is your surgical knowledge? If you are an auto mechanic, do you know how to fix cars?
If you are a supervisor, you need additional knowledge in leadership and management.
On the leadership side, you need to know how to communicate goals, context and meaning to your people. You need to know how to inspire, motivate and encourage your people. Do you make good decisions under pressure? If you are senior leadership, you need to know how to think strategically and lead a team of teams.
On the management side, you need to know how to optimize tasks, budgets, and resources to achieve goals.
At home with your family, you need the knowledge to be a good spouse and parent.
In the community, you need knowledge about how to be a good friend and citizen.
With knowledge of these things, you can practice them until they become habits and part of your character. Wisdom is the knowledge you get in that applied experience.
CHARACTER
Your character is who you are. It is the sum of your qualities, virtues, and vices.
Virtues are the good things in your character, like courage, honesty and dependability. Virtues are moral facts because it is a fact that honesty and dependability build trust and the covenant relationships that lead to happiness.
Vices are the opposite—the bad things in a person’s character like dishonesty, cowardice and greed. Vices are also moral facts, because it is a fact that these behaviors undermine trust and destroy relationships.
When you practice a virtue (or vice) over and over, it becomes a habit and part of your character. Part of who you are at your core.
There are moral virtues like honesty and courage. There are physical virtues like strength and endurance. There are mental virtues like attentiveness and memory. There are professional virtues like nursing, plumbing and piloting skills.
And there are relationship virtues like love, active listening and empathy.
What are your strongest virtues? Where would you like to get stronger?
VISION
Let’s go one more step—to the connection between wisdom and vision.
Have you ever been in a car with a new driver? It is everything they can do to maintain their speed and lane.
As the new driver goes down a busy street, they only see about 50 feet ahead of the car. In contrast, you watch the traffic dynamics at least a block ahead. You see a big truck in the right lane about to turn into a narrow parking lot.
You have the wisdom to make your way to the left lanes to avoid the inevitable jam behind the truck.
In contrast, the new driver continues in the right lane, oblivious to the situation, and gets caught behind the truck.
Wisdom gives you vision. Vision is simply the ability to see further down the road. Vision allows you to avoid problems early. Vision enables you to take advantage of opportunities that others don’t see coming.
WRAP UP
The wise housepainter knows many things about painting houses that you can’t learn from watching a tv show or reading a book.
There is parent-wisdom, artist-wisdom, pilot-wisdom, medical-wisdom and teacher-wisdom.
Most important, there is wisdom about life itself. That is the knowledge you need to lead a good, successful, and happy life.
At its core, life-wisdom is knowledge about human relationships that comes from experience.
Remember, happiness and success come from good, covenant relationships.
To get good relationship, seek wisdom, practice love and get results.
The more people trust your wisdom—your knowledge and your character—the stronger your relationships.
To develop wisdom, increase your knowledge of the truth and practice those truths until they become part of your character.
Seek Wisdom, Practice Love and Get Results.
In our next episode, we’ll talk about love.
