7 – Why The Most Important Relationship Is The One You Have With Yourself

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From our earlier episodes, we know that happiness in life comes from good, high-trust, covenant relationships.

To develop good relationships, practice the three Covenant Virtues: Seek wisdom, practice love, and get results. The more people trust your wisdom, that you love them and that you can get results, the better your relationships and the stronger your leadership.

The more you practice these virtues, the more they will become habits and part of your character. You won’t just develop relationships that bring happiness, you’ll also become a good leader at work, in your family and in life.

There are three areas of relationship where you can practice the Covenant Virtues. They are your relationship with yourself, your relationship with family and friends, and the relationships you have at work and in the community.

In this episode, we’ll take a look at your relationship with yourself. It’s incredibly important because it is the starting point for all your other relationships.

Your Relationship with Yourself.

One of the things that differentiates human beings from other creatures is that humans are self-conscious. We think about ourselves. We talk to ourselves. We might be happy or unhappy with ourselves. We are in relationship with ourselves.

The relationship you have with yourself is critical because it is the foundation for all your other relationships in life. The stronger your relationship with yourself, the stronger your other relationships can be.

Like other relationships, your relationship with yourself is all about trust. To trust yourself, you must trust your wisdom and knowledge about yourself. You must love and appreciate yourself. You must have self-confidence and the ability to lead yourself.

Let’s take a look at your relationship with yourself in terms of the Covenant Virtues. Building the best relationship possible with yourself means reflecting on questions like those below.

Seek Wisdom

Wisdom is the combination of knowledge and character. Do you know yourself? Do you trust your own character?

• How is Your Self-Knowledge?
  • How well do you know yourself?
  • What kind of thinker are you?
  • Are you more analytic or intuitive?
  • What kinds of information do you need to make decisions?
  • How well do you perform under pressure?
  • What makes you happy?
  • What makes you cranky?
  • Do you have healthy emotional responses? Do your emotions overwhelm you? Do you suppress your emotions?
• How is Your Character?
  • What are your good habits and character strengths?
  • What are your bad habits and character challenges?
  • How well does your perception of yourself match what wise family and friends think about you?

Practice Love

You can’t fully love other people unless you first love yourself.

• How Do You Feel About Yourself?
  • How do you feel about your:
    • Mental strength?
    • Physical fitness?
    • Appearance?
    • Ability to make friends and have relationships?
  • What are you proud of about yourself?
  • What are you happy about yourself?
  • What makes you feel sad, disappointed, or embarrassed about yourself?
• Do You Love Yourself?
  • What qualities make you the unique, one-of-a-kind person that you are?
  • Have you accepted the things about yourself that you cannot change?
  • Are you proud of what you’ve accomplished and who you are?

Get Results

To get results, you must have strong self-confidence and self-leadership. Can you lead yourself through difficult situations and get results?

• How Is You Self-Confidence?
  • Are you confident that you can achieve things?
  • Do you over-question yourself to the point that it undermines your performance?
  • Are you over-confident?
  • What are the differences between self-confidence, pride and arrogance?
• How Much Do You Trust Yourself?
  • In what situations do you trust yourself?
  • In what situations do you not trust yourself?
• How Much Self-Leadership Do You Have?
  • Do you have the self-leadership to:
    • Do the right thing for the right reasons even if pay a big price?
    • Rise and do difficult things even when you are tired?
    • Resist temptation?
    • Avoid toxic people and relationships?
    • Set goals and achieve them?
    • To see things through to the end?

Your relationship with yourself is like your relationship with other people. The more you put into it, the more you will get out of it, and the better all your other relationships will be.

You need balance in your relationship with yourself. If you aren’t honest with yourself about your challenges, you’ll never fix them. If you are too hard on yourself, you won’t build the confidence you need to succeed.

You need wise people who love you and want what is best for you. They can give you accurate feedback and wise counsel on how you are doing. They can help you find your center if your self-reflection gets unhealthy.

Like other relationships, your relationship with yourself is all about trust. The more you develop your wisdom and knowledge about yourself, the more you will trust yourself. The more you appreciate and love yourself, the better you can love others. The more self-confidence and self-leadership you have, the better you can lead others.

Your relationship with yourself is very important because it is the foundation for all your other relationships. If you have a strong and stable relationship with yourself, you can be strong and stable in your relationships with others. You will be in the best place to love them and help them grow. You will be in the best place to accept their love and grow from it.

A good relationship with yourself gives you the foundation for great leadership, whether it’s being a leader at work, leading a family with your spouse, leading change in a challenging world, or leading a good life to happiness.

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