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A lot of people get anxious because they don’t know how to start a conversation with someone new.
With Covenant Leadership, if you can remember just 3 things, you can master a simple approach to starting great conversations and relationships with anyone you meet. Whether it is at work, in the community, or even with a romantic interest.
Whether you are comfortable starting conversations with strangers or someone who gets anxious talking to someone new, this simple covenant leadership approach can help. It will get you comfortable meeting someone new. It will get your conversation rolling. It will help you build high trust relationships. And it works in any situation
Whether you are at work, in the community, or even meeting a romantic interest, all you have to do is remember 3 questions.
Before we get to the questions, it is important to set up the conversation correctly.
- Turn your body to face the person you are talking to
- Actively listen to them and remember what they say
- Make them feel like they are the only person in the room
Three Key Questions to Start a Conversation
Now to the three questions.
The first question is: What is your story?
It is an open question that allows them to respond however they feel most comfortable. It tells you who they are and where they come from. It gives you a starting point to ask other questions. If they talk about family or friends—especially kids—make a special note of that.
The second question is: What is important to you at work?
You might not ask that question in such a direct way. You might ask “What are you focused on at work?” or “What are the biggest challenges you face?”
The point is that if you can help someone solve a problem, achieve a goal, or address an issue at work, you will build trust in your relationship.
The third question is, “What is your passion?” What do they do for fun?
It is a great question because you get insight into the person and what they love to do, and most people enjoy talking about their passion.
You also get to learn about something new, which broadens your knowledge. I’ve learned a lot about puzzles, salmon fishing, hunting, surfing, international dart competitions, auto restoration, and desert car racing. It becomes a great starting point for future conversations. “So, how is the salmon fishing going?” And it gets them comfortable talking to you. It shows them that you care.
The last thing—and it is important—make sure you care enough to write it all down in your contact database. You might not see that person for a year or two—or even four years—but if you remember key things about them, it will show them that you really care.
That’s it.
It is pretty simple. Start by focusing on them.
- Turn your body to face them
- Actively listen to and remember what they say
- Make them feel like they are the only person in the room
Then ask to find out about the three things:
- What is your story?
- What is important at work?
- What is your passion?
Why does this approach work so well?
Part of it is that it is simple, works in any situation, and is easy to remember and master.
The biggest reason it works well is that you are practicing love for another.
Remember, Covenant Leadership is grounded in the fundamental truth that happiness and success come from good relationships.
The more people trust your wisdom, know that you love them, and know that you get results, the higher trust and higher performance your relationships will become.
One of the best ways to practice love for others is to make them the absolute center of your attention. Actively listen to them. Learn and care about them.
Like everything else in Covenant Leadership, practice love until it becomes a habit—part of your very being. You will get good at it. You will get comfortable doing it. And you will naturally build high trust, high performance relationships with the people you meet.
It will give you the best chance for happiness and success in life, and it will change the world.
What do you think? Post your thoughts in the comments section or drop us a message.
I’m Pete Bowen
