1–Seek Wisdom, Practice Love, Get Results: Happiness & Success Part 1
Written by Pete Bowen on August 25, 2020
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Life can be intense, fast-paced, and complicated.
Everywhere you turn, there’s pressure to be successful.
At work, we’re supposed to have cool jobs that pay well, and are socially relevant and fulfilling. We’re supposed to be ambitious, enthusiastic leaders moving quickly up the career ladder.
As parents, we are supposed to get our kids into the best schools, and ranked programs for sports or dance or music—or all three simultaneously. We’re supposed to be a good room-parent and coach while pursuing that successful career and finding kid-time. We are judged by the prestige of the colleges our kids attend, the scholarships they receive and the jobs they get after graduation.
In our community, we are supposed to fix injustice around the world, express the right opinions, live in the right neighborhoods, drive the right cars, and eat the chic foods at trending restaurants.
When we get exhausted chasing so many things, there is yet another list of things we’re supposed to do to de-stress like meditation, breathing exercises, cross-fit, “me-time”….
We are supposed to post all this on social media with smiling faces to broadcast our success and, I suspect, reassure ourselves that we are doing what we’re supposed to be doing.
No one asks if we want to do these things.
We are never told why we are supposed to do these things. There is just an implicit promise that if we achieve all these things something good will happen.
But no matter how many things we accomplish, that good thing never arrives.
If you feel overwhelmed, exhausted or burned out trying to keep up with it all, you’re not alone.
We have more education, wealth, and technology than ever in human history, and yet people feel more anxious and depressed than ever.
There is an alternative.
Let’s stop chasing endless lists of supposed-to-do’s and choose happiness.
It is that simple. Deep down, you already knew this.
Life is about happiness, fulfillment.
Science is clear about what makes us happy in life: good relationships. If you have good relationships, you will be happier, healthier and live longer.
So how do you get good relationships? Practice these Three Virtues:
Seek Wisdom because the more people trust your knowledge and character, the better your relationships.
Practice Love because the more people know that you care about them, the more committed your relationships.
Get Results because the more people know that—even under pressure—you can make the basket, close the deal, complete the project or properly arrange your daughter’s hair-bun before ballet class, the better your relationships.
There are three areas in life where you can practice these virtues. They include your relationships with:
- Yourself
- Family and friends
- People at work and in the community
Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for all your other relationships. Be strong with yourself so you can be strong for others.
Good relationships with your family and friends ensure you will be there for each other during the greatest joys and toughest challenges of life.
At work, if you have good relationships with your people, they will be more engaged and productive. If you have good relationships with your clients, they will give your more work.
If you combine more work and more productivity, you will increase performance and have a big advantage whether you are a business, non-profit, public service or military. It may be counter-intuitive, but you’ll make more money focusing on good relationships than if you focus on making money itself).
Strong relationships in your community give you the best opportunity to work with others—even when you disagree—to make your community stronger, safer and more just.
Your life is really the story of how you pursue relationships with yourself, with family and friends, and at work and in your community. Your story interwoven with all of their stories.
Hopefully, your story is one of finding happiness in good relationships instead of experiencing burnout chasing endless lists of supposed-to-do’s.
Happiness, relationship, story—everything else is a distraction.
That’s the core of it.
Stayed tune for the next post where we’ll talk more about happiness!
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yourhomeandlife On August 31, 2020 at 3:00 pm
Pre-covid, the tasks in which I filled my everyday hours were getting to be so draining, I found it difficult to unwind. Even though they were mostly volunteer efforts, I placed upon myself unreal expectations of perfection or near perfection which is not good, or even possible. With the pandemic lockdown my particular challenge is the lack of structure those same tasks provided to my day, however, I don’t miss all that clutter filling up my mind and stealing my peace and happiness. Thanks for your insight Pete, God Bless.