Six Anchor Points That Can Make You Successful–and Keep You From Crashing–in Life
Written by Pete Bowen on July 11, 2019
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Airplane Crashes and Reference Points
Almost exactly 20 years ago, on July 16, 1999, John F. Kennedy Jr. and his wife Carolyn died in an airplane crash off the coast of Massachusetts. The famous son of President John F Kennedy was headed to Martha’s Vineyard for a wedding.
A safety investigation determined that Kennedy flew into hazy weather at night and experienced spatial disorientation, causing him to lose control of the airplane and crash into the ocean.
More simply stated, Kennedy flew into haze at night in which there was no horizon. In those conditions, without any reference points, even the best pilots will lose their sense of what is up and what is down. The airplane will eventually enter an unintended dive or turn that will result in a crash. Looking outside, with no reference points, any moves by the pilot to save the airplane usually end up making the situation worse.
The same thing happened to an experienced helicopter pilot over New York City last month.
The solution is to look inside the airplane and fly using the reference points provided by your instruments. The instruments will tell you how your airplane is pointed in relation to the horizon.
In flight school we used to practice these situations in simulators. After closing your eyes, the instructor puts your simulated airplane in a very awkward position, then tells you to open your eyes and get out of it.
The procedures are simple. Look at your flight instruments and figure out the key reference points: where is the horizon, where is up and where is down. Then roll your wings to parallel the horizon and pull up.
When you have good reference points, you know where you are and how to get where you’re going. When you don’t have good reference points, you get increasingly confused and the situation gets progressively worse.
With good reference points you live. Without reference points you die.
Losing reference points can be scary. Most of us have experienced it.
Ever suddenly realize that you were lost driving or hiking, with no idea of where you are?
Ever wake up after an intense dream and not know where you are?
Most people feel very unsafe and anxious until they regain some reference points and understand where they are.
The same is true of life.
It is easy to get caught up in the vortex of life chasing what everyone else is chasing because, well, everyone is chasing those things. Money. Social status. Elite colleges. High club sport rankings. The right car. The right neighborhood. Eating the right foods at the right restaurants while drinking the right wines on the cool vacations for everyone else to admire all posted on InstaFaceGramBook.
We chase those things under increasing social pressure while suffering increasing burnout until we crash. Check out the previous blog on millennial burnout.
We get caught up in the frenzy—the haze—of chasing life and find ourselves without any reference points. Without those reference points, we lose our sense of direction, and what’s up and what’s down.
We are watching people crash and die every day. There is a suicide in the United States every 12 minutes. Anxiety and depression have skyrocketed. Suicide has become the second leading cause of death for 10 year-olds.
What is the solution?
We’ve got to get back to our reference points.
We need to get our lives re-oriented in the right direction.
Through practice, we need to turn those reference points into anchor points for our lives. With solid anchor points, we can remain safe in a strong position no matter how crazy life around us gets.
We need to raise our children so that they have the best anchor points possible as early as possible in their lives.
When you have good anchor points in life, you understand where you are, where you are going and how to get there.
When times get tough and life is in chaos, you can stop, go back to your anchor points, get settled, and move forward again.
The trick is to choose the right anchor points in life.
The Right Anchor Points in Life
Here are several important anchor points that can help you move forward. Teach them to your children—better yet, practice them with your children—and you will give them the most powerful way to understand and make their way through life.
These anchor points come in two sets of three.
The first three are Truths about life. Practice thinking them until they become the anchor points of your whole perspective on life. They’ll get you through the storms of life.
The second three are the questions you need to continuously pursue to gain Wisdom about life.
Lead the Story of Your Life Pursuing Happiness.
Remember that your life is your story—your adventure—in the pursuit of Happiness.
If you drift through life, you will get whatever you get—probably misery.
If you lead yourself through life, making conscious decisions to become the best person you can be, you will have the best chance for Happiness and the best life possible.
Don’t allow yourself to become a victim or whiner. Take charge and lead the best life you can with whatever blessings and challenges you are given.
Feeling sorry for yourself? Feel that life is unfair because you had a bad day? We can all learn from how Bunk Wurth and Travis Mills handled things after they had bad days.
They had strong anchor points. They chose to lead their lives to awesomeness rather than be victims of life. They are better and happier for it. They give us the example of attitude and strength that make us better people.
Happiness is All About Relationships
In earlier blogs, we talk about our purpose in life, Happiness. We also talk about the secret to Happiness in life: high-quality relationships.
Studies show that people in high-quality relationships are not only happier, but are healthier and live longer.
In business, when you have great relationships with your clients, you get more business. When you have great relationships with your team, you get more employee engagement and productivity. These lead to higher business performance.
What are the deepest, most committed and strongest relationships? Those based in agape-love where people are totally committed to each other.
Want Happiness? Spend all of your time and focus all of your energy on developing great relationships with yourself, your family, your friends, your co-workers, your community and your Creator.
Great Relationships are Built on Wisdom, Performance and Love.
The more people trust your knowledge and character (that’s Wisdom), the more they trust your ability to perform under pressure, and the more that they know that you love them, the better your relationships and the more people will follow you.
Learn as much as you can about life. Develop your integrity. Learn how to perform under pressure. Practice loving all those you encounter. Those are the fundamentals.
These anchor points will bear fruit in strong relationships that give you the best chance for Happiness, for success at work and home, and in life.
The Big Three Questions in Life.
Finally, there are three big metaphysical questions in life that humans have been asking for thousands of years. They are the anchor points people have for understanding life.
Who Am I?
Much of the journey in life—especially through the your 30’s—is figuring out who you are. What makes you special and unique? What are your gifts? What are your challenges? Do you love and accept yourself?
It’s about your relationship with yourself. The better you know yourself, the stronger this anchor point in your life. When people attack you, when you are called into question, your faith in yourself will be what carries you through—or not.
Where Do I Fit in My Community?
Where do you fit among your siblings? Where do you fit among your friends? Where did you fit in your 3rd grade and 8th grade and 12th grade classes? Where do you fit at work and in your local community?
It’s about your relationship with your different communities. The more confidence you have in your place in your community, the stronger your anchor point.
People are neurologically, biologically, psychologically and spiritually wired for relationship. When people don’t know where they fit—how they relate—they become anxious, depressed and sometimes worse.
Where Do I Fit in the Cosmos?
What is the meaning of life? What is life all about and why? Where are you headed in life?
It’s about your relationship with the cosmos.
The meaning of life is a special anchor point. The more you know about life, where you are headed and why, the better prepared you will be to weather the storms that come in life.
The more you study these fundamental questions about life, the better your wisdom about them, the stronger your position in life.
Your life is your story of pursuing Happiness
Happiness is all about relationships.
Wisdom, Performance and Love—these are the anchor points for great relationships.
Finally, there are the three anchor points about life: Who am I? Where do I fit in my community? Where do I fit in the cosmos?
The better you understand and live these anchor points, the happier and more successful you will be.
Keep life simple, straightforward and focused.
I’m Pete Bowen.
