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Tragedy, Unhappiness and Burnout
This week I read an article about a 27-year old young woman who hanged herself in her New York apartment.
She left her mother apology notes online and in her apartment that read she “felt absolutely nothing during what should have been the happiest and darkest times in my life.”
The notes continue, “I realize I am undeserving of thinking this way because I truly have a great life on paper. I’m fortunate to eat meals most can only imagine. I often travel freely without restriction… However all these facets seem trivial to me…”
And she writes, “It’s the ultimate first world problem, I get it. I often felt detached while in a room full of my favorite people…”
In my blog a couple of weeks ago, Millennials: Pursuing Happiness and Avoiding Burnout, I talked about an article by Anne Helen Petersen that describes how millennials are feeling not just exhausted, but burned out chasing all the things they’ve been told to chase in life.
It was revealing that in almost 8.000 words about life, Petersen never mentioned Happiness or fulfillment or even relationships. Petersen concluded her article basically settling for being more aware of her burnout and attempting to seek some joy in life.
The Fundamental Problem: We Don’t Know Happiness
I think these two stories capture a fundamental problem in our nation. We have more education, more wealth, better health, more travel and more prosperity than ever in history, and yet so many—especially younger people—seem sad, depressed or lack direction.
We need to fix that. We need to understand our meaning and purpose in life so that we can pursue and find fulfillment and Happiness. When we tap into that fundamental Truth about ourselves, we will be in the best position possible to be successful in all areas of our lives.
So, let’s be obvious about it. The meaning of life and your purpose in life are straightforward. The answer is Happiness.
Based on Petersen’s millennial article, it seems like we forgot to tell tens of millions of people that life is about Happiness. And we seem to have forgotten how to pursue Happiness.
Instead, we’ve become thoroughly captured and enthralled by shiny distractions in life. We’re chasing dozens of all the wrong things in life like social status and money, and stuff like the coolest cars and most expensive houses and newest smartphones and the most prestigious schools and travel sports teams.
I’m not saying that its bad to be rich or to appreciate beautiful things. These are all good things that can make our lives better.
But they are not the meaning of life.
They can provide short-term pleasure, but they can never provide long-term fulfillment. If you make the pursuit of these things for their own sake the focus of your life, you will inevitably find yourself in pain, unhappy and unfulfilled.
Meaning of Life: Happiness & Relationship
So, this is the first in a series of blog posts where we will talk about the purpose and meaning of your life—Happiness—and how you can pursue it.
We’ll take the best ancient, timeless wisdom and apply it to our current times and circumstances.
We’ll talk about some simple lessons that you can use to become successful and fulfilled in every area of your life—your personal life, your family life, and your life with your friends and at your work.
Let’s talk about your life, your Happiness and your success. Let’s make it simple and easy to understand so you can apply it all areas of your life. So you can hand the Truth about Happiness and success to your own children.
Let’s start with Happiness itself. We’ll define Happiness generally as a way of life that brings you deep contentment, satisfaction and lasting joy.
So, if Happiness is not about money or status or fame, where do you find it? As we talked about in an earlier blog, Meaning of Life: Happiness, you find Happiness in high-quality relationships.
That’s not my opinion. That’s a finding from a Harvard study that has been following people and their children for 80 years. High-quality relationships don’t just lead to Happiness; they also lead to healthier and longer life.
It’s pretty simple. The secret to Happiness in life is having high-quality relationships.
Six Areas of Relationship in Your Life
So, let’s unpack that. If we can identify where we have relationships in life, we’ll know where to focus our energy to achieve Happiness. Where do you have relationships in life? That answer comes down to six places: with yourself, your family, your friends, at work, in your community and with your Creator.
First is the relationship you have with yourself. This is the you that stands at the open refrigerator at midnight looking for a snack in relationship with the you that tells you a midnight snack is unhealthy. This is the you that knows you need to get that task done in relationship with the you that wants to procrastinate.
The relationship you have with yourself is very important because it is the foundation for all the relationships you have with others.
Second, there is the relationship you have with your family. That includes your spouse, your children, your brothers and sisters, and even your grandparents and cousins.
The third area of relationship is with your friends.
Fourth, there are the relationships you have at work. Those relationships fall into two basic areas: the relationships you have with your customers or clients, and the relationships you have within your own organization or team.
Fifth, is the relationship you have with other people in our community and nation. As American citizens, we are the leaders of our nation. We are the “We the people” that our Constitution is founded on. We must be very conscious of our relationships with and our responsibilities to our fellow citizens.
Finally, there is the relationship you have with your Creator. That’s your sixth relationship.
So, the meaning and purpose of your life is Happiness. You are made for Happiness and fulfillment in life.
You won’t find Happiness in money or social status or fame. Happiness comes from having high-quality relationships with yourself and others. If you want Happiness, everything you do in life should be focused on developing high-quality relationships.
The six areas of relationship in life—self, family, friends, work, community and Creator—are the places—the opportunities—where you can develop the relationships that lead to Happiness.
Happiness and Success
There’s more. Each of these areas is also an opportunity for your success.
Do you want a happy, successful family with successful kids? Focus on high-quality relationships with your spouse and kids.
Want success at work? Build great relationships with clients and develop high-trust, high-performance relationships with your team.
The best thing about all of this is that life ends up being quite simple. Life is all about relationships. Everything else in life either contributes to good relationships is the fruit of good relationships or distracts you from good relationships.
One Answer: Happiness / One Strategy: Good Relationships
Here’s one more great thing. Because life and Happiness and success are all about relationships, the things you do to build good relationships at home and with friends are the same things that will build great relationships and give you success at work.
Learn one set of powerful relationship-building strategies that applies to all areas of life.
That’s the deal.
In our future blogs, we’ll unpack your relationships in each of the areas, starting with your relationship with yourself, then through family, friends, work and community. We’ll learn about life and relationships, and then use that understanding to develop strategies and techniques that you can use to be successful.
As we go through this in future blogs, I want to hear your stories and thoughts and questions so together, in relationship, we can all learn as much as possible about life and Happiness and success and relationships.
I look forward to it!
